I’m not sure when the changeover happened but it did. Rather than asking for specific items, we now ask for money when it comes to gifts at a wedding. This has been my experience at least. Each wedding I have been to has included the same line at the bottom of the invite…
‘We both have everything that we need in life. The presence of you at our wedding is what is important. If you wish to provide a gift then please note that donations towards our honeymoon will be greatly appreciated.’
I may have used a little poetic license there but you get the gist. Donations towards the honeymoon are considered a gift nowadays, as everyone has what they need in life. We all have the plates, knives and forks that we need and so getting more doesn’t really mean anything.
We have more or less everything that we need. We have enough plates, knives and forks to last a lifetime. Getting a set of bone china plates will simply bring a grimace to our faces and be left to gather dust and therefore, what is the point? Money is the universal lubricant and with those donations received, we can help to fund our honeymoon dreams.
Once we have then arrived back in England we can let people know what we spent their money on. I personally thought that I was over writing thank you notes, but the experience of seeing the response from other weddings has taught me otherwise. Cards need to be received or people get angry. Now I get that you should say thank you but it feels like regressing when I am asked to write a thank-you note. Last time I did this, I was still wearing a uniform.
Money is great as it can then be spent where it is needed. This means that there is no possibility of disappointment. You cannot give the wrong currency. You could but then I would question the mentality of the individual who ends up doing that. Money is easy and will be of more benefit to the couple in question that more plates.
Does anyone ask for physical gifts anymore?
I believe that there must be some who still ask for physical gifts. This just makes it feel like Christmas and as I have just eluded to, ends up in disappointment. No one likes disappointment and so why would you disappoint the happy couple on their big day? You wouldn’t and so money is the easiest way in which you can navigate around the situation.
I’ve never brought a physical gift for a wedding and do not expect anyone to do so at my wedding. It would just be really awkward the day after. To see them and say thanks for the plates when my face would give away how disappointed I am with the gift. It is something that I would hate to have to do.
This is of course not to say that I am money grabbing. What I am saying is what I have experienced and what I agree with at weddings. Most of us who are of working age have everything that we want and if we don’t have it, then we save up. The money will be appreciated but of course, it will not be demanded.
Happy to simply be able to see people
At the core of our wedding is simply the desire to see those that we love and care about. If no-one brought a gift but everyone turned up then I would be happy as Larry. I’ve never met anyone called Larry, but he seems like a happy fellow and we would love to have him at the wedding.
What I envision our wedding to be is a day to celebrate the love between me and my fiancée when surrounded by our loved ones. I hope that everyone will be able to make it and if they bring a gift, then all the better but I would never demand it. The fact that people attend will be more than enough for me.
My fiancée will agree with me. The wedding is not about money, it is about the love between us and celebrating with those we care about. Whether that is our friends or family. We love them and hope that Covid-19 does not keep them away. Gifts are great but deep down, just being able to see everyone will put a smile on my face.
I have never been asked to purchase a physical gift for a wedding. People have everything that they need in life and therefore I would always give money when it comes to a wedding. This is also what we are asking for at our wedding. We will be asking for donations to our honeymoon. This ensures that people are still able to contribute something tangible and something that we will actually make use of.
It would be so embarrassing to have to look at a guest in the eye the next day and thank them for a set of plates. This is something that I will never care about. The money will go a long way to helping our honeymoon plans but deep down it is not important. What is important is having all those that we care for there at the venue to watch us say, ‘I do’.
Gifts at the wedding have evolved. Time changes everything and this is never truer than when it comes to a wedding. We will be happy if everyone is able to make it. Anything more than that will be a bonus. Love is what weddings are about and simply being able to see everyone’s smiling faces will be enough for us.